Wow...Havent blogged in HELLA long!!!

I dont know if anyone will even read this, but I igured I'd check in just incase. It doesnt look like anyone but "On and Up" is still posting. Clearly resolve didnt work for anyone but her aparently thus far. I had an outbreak that just cleared up a few days ago, and it was in an area where I never had one before... Hopefully this wont be TMI, but the sores are usually limited to my vaginal canal or inner labia, but this outbreak was on my outter labia, borderline where the pubic hair begins and this was strange to me. I had shaved a day or two beofr it appeared so I was thinking maybe I made it spread there somehow, but there were no other visible sores. I doubt this has anything to do with resolve, but I justr thought I'd share that. It was kinda depressing, because I dont want to think that OB's will jus start apearing anywhere down there now.....
Anyways, I hope evryone is doing well.... I met someone who I informed of H from the jump and he wasnt bothered by it. He asks me questions about it at times when herpes comes up in our conversations or on TV or somthing, but he totally accepted me and we have been together ever since. It's still in the early relationship stages, so there is no sex going on yet, and getting that outbreak in the area where the hair grows scared me off that a little more because that probably means condoms will be less helpful in protecting him against it then they would have been if I was still just getting OB's on my inner region. He said he isnt worried about it but I still wouldnt wanna pass it to him. It's such a relief having it out in the open from the jump....it takes the stress of the "when/ how should I tell?".

Take it easy all....Until next time...

Hi there!!!

Hi everyone!!! I'm not sure if anyone is still keeping up with any of this stuff, but I still get new people emailing my gmail I put on this blog about resolve and herpes in general just to ask questions and find support. I wanted anyone who passes by this blog to know that even though I'm not really ever posting on here anymore, I still check my gmail fairly regularly so please feel free to email me for any questions you may have or support you may need :)

Also, if resolve still stalks us on here, I GET LOTS OF EMAILS ASKING IF THE PRODUCT IS REAL AND IF THEY SHOULD BUY IT AND I TELL EVERYONE WHO ASKS ME THAT IT IS A FAKE AND IT DID NOTHING BUT GIVE FALSE HOPE AND HAVE US ALL INVEST A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY INTO SOMETHING THAT WAS A LIE!!!!

The Results Are In...

I know my 90 days wont be up for a couple more weeks, but clearly Resolve is a scam so I went a few weeks ago to get a blood test since I never had one. My gyno siad she doesnt know what type of test they give for it because they only usually do it for pregnant women in their 3rd trimester and bla blah blah...but basically she gave me a hard time about getting one but I got it anyways and it says I am negative for HSV1 and positive for HSV2. Hope everyone is doing okay. It looks like no one is really posting anymore... I'll keep updating everytime something H related comes up.

Conflicting Information...

Hello everyone...Happy Tuesday. I have been talking to a herpes councelor since I was so down last week and she was very helpful, but I feel like some of the information she was giving me was inaccurate. One of the things she said was that since I have HSV2 in the genital area I cant re-infect myself in the mouth or eye, ear, etc... However, I have been told by my doctor and a few other people who I turn to about this when I am feeling down that people often reinfect themselves in other places by not being careful. I have had H for a while and I have never had any problems anywhere but down there but I assumed it was because I'm always careful about washing my hands after having any contact with my "region". I still think that I could infect myself other places if I'm not careful but now I'm just confused. I also got some wierd info from the advice nurse at the hospital I have my insurance at...I called there to talk about my incident last weekend to see how likely it was that he could possibly be infected and she said it was highly unlikely but it depends on how contagious I was at the time and if he touched himself right after touching me...this part sounded like it made sense but then she told me that people can get herpes from a toilet seat...WTF? For some reason that just sounds way to far fetched for me. I dont know what the hell to believe about this anymore...Now I dont feel like my health care providers are as intellegent and equiped as they should be!!!

Feeling like shit today...

I'm in a little bit of a predicament... I have been dating someone since pretty much January and we dont have sex yet, but I can feel that the time is gettting near and I still haent told him about the H. I was debating if it was worth it to tell him and risk his reaction or break up with him and give another reason for why. It's never easy to tell anyone but it's worse in this case because he knows my family and I'm afraid to be "exposed" and have people treat me differently. I almost told him on two seperate occasions this weekend but I couldnt do it. I know, I know, if he really loves me and cares about me he wouldnt care right? As many times as I say that in my head I cant make myself believe that because if the tables were turned, i.d.k. if I would do it...I think I would for him but I cant say for sure because it's easy for me to say that now cuz I have it. He mentioned someone he knows having it and he made some comments and I got defensive and he asked me why I was so defensive and did I have it and I clammed up and said no when that was the perfect opportunity to put it out there. Then this weekend, he was on my computer and he was typing something in the address bar and the resolve website "herpes cure" thingy popped up. I saw it but he didnt say anything at first so I wasnt sure if he noticed, then a little later he asked me why I had gotten so defensive about the topic the other night so I'm pretty sure he saw it. We talked about it a little bit but he didnt ask me if I had it again and then he didnt bring it up again. I'm driving myself crazy behind this...One of the reasons I'm so freaked out is because I'm to the point where I'm like F it, I need to just tell him no matter what the consequences because feelings on both sides are way too deep and I dont hide anything from him but this but we got really close to having sex a little over a week ago but I stopped it. I let him touch me and we were doing some heavy dry humpin but I had my under garmets on still. I was paranoid he may be at risk from that but I talked to advice nurses and Herpes councelors and they said that from the contact we had it would be pretty much impossible. He hasnt said anything about symptoms and I know that symptoms can vary but the past two relationships I had where my partners were infected, they got their symptoms just as fast as I got mine when I was first infected (less than a week). I'm afraid that he will freak because I let it get that close without mentioning it!!! I feel like an awful person for even allowing myself to get in a relationship with him...This is the worst thing ever right now and it's been putting me under a lot of stress. Any suggestions and opinions from you guys would be greatly appreciated...I'm in a pretty bad place right now :( I think the main reason I go the acyclovir was because if I do tell him and he is okay with it, I wanna let him know that I'm willing to do anything in my power try and prevent him from getting it...by the way...does anyone know how much lower the risk of passing is with suppressive therapy and condoms? Ahhhhh...I'm gonnna stop babbling me but this is really consuming me and I was even really suicidal and self destructive since that incident. I've been under so much stress, I've lost about 10lbs since the incident occured. Anyways, all I can do is pray and try and figure out what I'm gonna do and ho I'm gonna do it...Sorry for being a downer but I'm outta my head right now!!!

I'm still waiting on my blood test results to come. They send them in the mail so I'll know what type I am for sure soon. I've been taking the acyclovir since Thursday but I'm still having some minor tingling...I think...I'm so obbsessed with this, my mind may be playing tricks on me but it could be possible since I'm under so much stress. I hope everyone is well...

Waiting Period Day 68

I discontinued the booster because I feel like there is no reason for me to continue on with process. No one is negative, atleast not for long and I dont feel like dragging this out any further. Today I am going to get a blood test just so I can have my type and levels for my records. As far as resolve, i'm through with it. But I will still keep this blog to share other treatments and options that i and others on here may try to help maintain the current situation until there is a cure. Stay hopeful people!!! This is not the end of the world. It's just a minor set back. We need to just stay positive and stay current on what is out there that can work in our favor.

I'm not sad or anything, and I hope those of you out there arent broken up about this either. This was just a shot in the dark. We had lives before this and we ill definetly have a life after this. Just remember, we control our lives, not H. We will all be fine, especially if we continue to support eachother like we have been.

Fearfully Hopeful texted me last night saying she got some monolaurin si I told her to keep me posted on how it was going for her.

As for me right now, I think I'm but to bite the bullet and get the antivirals for now so I can try and get my body back in the shape it was before resolve.

Waiting Period Day 66

Hello everyone. Not much going on here. I think I'm going to stop taking the booster. The bottle says for 3 weeks or until symptoms stop and the outbreak is about a week or so gone. We'll see how Ifeel about it in a few days. I have a lot going on right now but I check back in here soon.